10.06.2009

time for overall reflection of the college life because i am not in math class like my schedule says i should be and i need a break from reading about childbirth (developmental psych, lol).

if i havent made it clear already, I LOVE UCSD and college life is agreeing with me considerably. i thought i would be much more homesick by now, but i'm not. only a little, and occasionally. now if only i could transport all my old friends here, life would be perfect. this is the perfect balance between summer and school. i feel like its summer still because i have minimal stress, except i have enough stuff to do to occupy me moderately. perfect. i can go out every night and hang out or whatever, and the workload doesnt get any worse. life is sweet. and i love meeting new ppl and soaking in the FALL weather (hah, silicon valley people, thats right, a season other than summer and rainy. jealous?) and everythings awesome and nice and rosy and stuffs.

perhaps i'm misjudging college because its only week two, but seriously this is way easier than mv. heck, this is easier than fifth grade. i am not kidding about that. except i already bombed my first math quiz but oh well its only a quiz. anyway. hope it gets harder otherwise im really going to stop trying.

already i'm forgetting what its like to live in sleepy cupertino. except la jolla is about as sleepy, except with more things going on (lol?).

how empty it is to do homework all day. like i did in mv, mostly. i dont even remember anything. tsktsk.

but really, cupertino seems like a dream to me now. sorry, cupertino ppl. i barely remember your colors now. the memory's getting fuzzier every day... warm and fuzzy! you still hold warm and fuzzy memories. :]

ok sd's nice and easy and all, but if i go premed, maybe i should pay more attention to class.... but on the other hand, if God wants me to go that way, i can fail college and still end up there. or should i be doing my part in obeying him by working harder?

BUT SERIOUSLY, GOD, PREMED???

maybe pre-nursing?

part of me really wants to settle down as fast as possible, in a job and family. forget grad school.

part of me wants to hang around in school longer so i can mess around more and meet more ppl and have a longer time in this mission setting.

but going to med school is like moving to college all over again, and seriously, who knows where it's going to take me this time. i dont want to move around and leave friends every four years cuz thats lame. plus i hear horror stories of med school. but then, i heard horror stories of chem honors, and physics honors, and college, and all that too, and none of it was true.

so that means, if God wants me in med school, all i have to do is apply to one and ill get in, right? no competition? i should try that.

in fact, i think i will try that. my life is in a disarray already. i have no idea where it's going anymore. thats a little scary. back in hs, it was like, oh im going to college. now im in college and until a week ago, i was like oh im gonna get my teaching credentials and teach yay. now God's like messed everything up and shaken my world around and i have absolutely no idea where i will be four years from now. maybe in africa, that's as likely as california. but ok. its a little uncomfortable to not know, but i can deal with it. to infinity, and beyond. wherever that is.

6 comments:

  1. you are misjudging college. its only your first quarter. wait until 2nd year, when u take upper division courses.

    ahhhhhhhhhh

    -the manly half-naked waterpolo man (that no longer plays waterpolo...)

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  2. hahahaha elena, college is going to get harder.

    "if God wants me to go that way, i can fail college and still end up there. or should i be doing my part in obeying him by working harder?"
    if God wants you to go pre med, you're going to have to do your best and let Him do the rest. if God wants you to go pre med, ask for the passion to, ask for the "want to".

    "so that means, if God wants me in med school, all i have to do is apply to one and ill get in, right? no competition? i should try that."
    this one i agree hahaha.

    "in fact, i think i will try that. my life is in a disarray already. i have no idea where it's going anymore. thats a little scary."
    hahaha same here sista. i think today, God confirmed that He seriously wants me to go pre-business. if those thoughts were from Him, He says that's where I will access the most people and be able to invest in them and release their potentials. but then I look at my college life right now and I have no backup major at all if I don't get into the berkeley business school when junior year comes. I still have no business knowledge at all right now while many already had multiple business club experiences. so I have no idea where I am going either, all my life to God now hahaha. may God make us further testimonies.

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  3. i bet if i failed college God would do something like take me to africa and make me a volunteer medical missionary or something else unique and unnatural lol.

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  4. Elena, you cannot always rely on God to get you through.

    "When the Lord God made the earth and the heavens, 5 neither wild plants nor grains were growing on the earth. For the Lord God had not yet sent rain to water the earth, adn there were no people to cultivate the soil" Genesis 2: 4-6

    God will help us on the way, but we cannot rely on him to do all the work. We must do our part also. I know that these verses are a bit iffy but its the only one i know. God needs us to do his work. We cant just sit around and pray that he will provide us food. We have to work for our food. We cant pray for everything. Sometimes, we just have to rely on ourselves and do our own work. And if that work is towards God, then God will help along the way, but he will not send rain when no one has cultivate the soil

    -bryan

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  5. Bryan is right. You do your part, your part is to find out what you really passionate about. God won't gives you a gift in vain, you can utilize everything you ever learnt, but if you run on your strength, you use half of the effort and double the effect.

    aseed2008

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  6. yeah i know we gotta do our part too, which i think is your point. i'm trying to find the balance between doing my part and letting God do his part. its stupid if i sit around and dont do anything to obey him, but i also believe that if he calls me somewhere, he's going to prepare the way for me. i'm just trying to figure out whats what.

    also i'm trying to figure out how to go about doing this go-into-the-medical-field thing. med school isnt the only way.

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