i just read through the entire book of genesis in three days, including annotations. it's so interesting to read it all straight through, cuz you see how exactly God's promise to abraham is carried on through his descendants. it all ties together in a way that you dont really see when you read it over a period of weeks. and i actually decided i like the version we read for class better than niv, so maybe i'll just read the class version for devos instead of trying to figure out what niv is saying. its nrsv, new revised standard version.

on the one hand, i have so much to say in this essay that i really wanna write it. on the other hand, i dont feel like getting myself too heavily involved in controversial topics and i have no idea how i'm supposed to make this understandable and coherent and sense-ful to a nonchristian, without seeming too out-there.

i'm beginning to feel the sting of persecution a little in humanities. to make it short, i do not feel like my beliefs are respected. i dont care if we read it and remain silent about whether it's of divine origin or not, but i do not appreciate the professor going out of his way to say, by the way, please keep in mind that this is made by men. by the way, the bible HAS a history (but no, it's not really historically accurate). by the way, the bible has many many contradictions in it. yes, it puts doubts in my head, and those doubts probably will accumulate over the next three weeks, but it is definitely not what i learned about the accuracy of the bible from my humanities teacher last year, who, by the way, is also not christian in any sense of the word. therefore i doubt the truth of what the professor is telling me, but it does not mean that things he say don't carry any weight at all. also i think i found a content mistake in one of the things he gave us to read, so i doubt the accuracy of that also. BUT that does not prevent any of this from sinking into my head. i am not yet EATEN by doubts, but i have a good deal more of it floating around, going in all directions, directed at all things. many things i thought i knew, i dont know anymore. i used to believe in archeology and history and all that, and i dont know how much i still believe in them. i used to believe my professors, i dont know how much i still believe in them. i used to believe the bible was quite literal, but i dont know how literal i really think it is anymore. i used to believe the bible was word for word correct, but i dont know how to explain apparently discrepancies between geneologies anymore. or are those discrepancies even there, or are the annotations lying to me? i have no idea, but to some degree i can make it not matter. it does not jeopardize my faith in jesus or the truth of God's word. although i have heard of people who lose their faith from the hum series. or it can purify and strengthen my faith in the end. but i dunno, its only been 3 days and i already feel weakened. if this is what it does to the old testament, i dont know how i'm going to be able to read the new testament in hum 2. pray for  me. i think this quarter is going to be spiritually very eventful. more than just because humanities.

itunes: lift us up to fall (tenth avenue north)


  1. im certain the next 3 weeks will make you stronger. you're elena, and there is nothing in this world that can ever take away ur faith.

  2. smart girl for asking prayer and be aware of the doubts. i agree with bryan, you WILL be stronger because the Spirit is inside you. keep asking, seeking and knocking, you will find the answers and the open door.
    - janet

  3. hey sis, i've been there before too, so i think i know how you feel, if that helps. anyway, our Lord's will is good, and He will definitely protect your heart. i've prayed for you.

    "Even though I walk
    through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.
    You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
    You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
    Surely goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
    and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
    (Psalm 23:4-6)

  4. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y83-vMeWc9E

  5. 2 Chronicles 20:17 You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.' "

  6. Remember, your professor is just one of guys that has his own opinions. Everybody's opinion should be valued for the sake of understand that person. Unfortunately that branch of thoughts/opinions dominates our universities.

  7. Humanism is a worldview pretty much against biblical worldview. It's okay you know what they teach, but along with history and archeology and some other subjects, it's not a hard science, all very subjective. Remember all "facts" were told through somebody's interpretation and story, throught somebody's philosophical color lenses. Treat Bible as an ancient literature, as reliable is many other historical document that is considered reliable, that is many biblical study scholars' position. Christians believe it's more reliable than other ancient document, but that is an assumption others reject. I am praying for you EE.

  8. It's going to be tough when your view is against your professor's, and against curriculum authors'. I don't want to take their courses. In theology, we got all different schools of theology, I don't want to take course from just any school, it's going to feel like a suffering, end up arguing or give in, or adding some unhealthy defenses, such as lying, hiding, anger, or indifferences. Defenses are useful at times, but if you have to adapt that as a way of thinking or feeling, it becomes unhealthy.

  9. While you think you live in a bubble, others live in their bubble too, the world is no more real than you already know.

  10. What kind of annotation are you reading? If its Hebrew translator's, then they know what they are doing. Other people's annotations are just as good as I can add, ask me. You can choose the ones that you want to believe.

  11. Excuse me, allow me to quote theologians. Vern Poythress: Among theist I suppose no one would deny that human knowledge is relative... We know that truth is absolute-- in particular, the truths of the Bible. We allow ourselves, however, to slip over into excessive presumption with regard to our human knowledge. We do not reckon with the fact that our interpretation of the Bible is always fallible. Or if we know a piece of truth, we erroneous suppose that we know it precisely and exhaustively....

    EE has been trusting, which is healthy and good. But you need to have a healthy doze of suspicion too, not everything print on a book or taught in classroom is as true as you thought. People do lie, and hide their real motivation, and angry at God, emotionally shut down.