i will fear no evil/for my God is with me/ and if my God is with me/whom then shall i fear/whom then shall i fear?
for i have been crucified with christ, and i no longer live, but christ lives in me.
for whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it.
dying to self suddenly takes on a new meaning. i am going to bravely commit social suicide now because i'm dead already. it's in those times when God calls me to something that i don't want to do because i fear what others will think and what they will do to me, that God calls me to crucify myself, forget about myself, say "here goes nothing," and throw my life away for his sake. that's the only way i'll ever be able to obey him when he calls me to do those hard things. and i am not talking about doing something that will simply cause my neighbor to look at me funny for a day. or a week. or years. no, much riskier. like professor edwards said (he said something right for once), God is high risk and high profit. i am going to be a riskier person. i am going to cause conflict. i am going to cause gross misunderstandings. i am going to destroy relationships and preconceptions. but after the dust settles, hopefully everything will be made new and one more person will be won for the kingdom of God. here goes nothing.