I skimmed my journal today, back to when I started my current notebook like three years ago, and boy, hindsight 20/20. I can now see what I failed to see in my life back then. Dumb Elena grows wiser with time, that's good. Or shall we say, blind Elena suddenly sees clearer when she's not in the situation anymore? Anyway, I also see how I've grown, and all the prayers that God answered. Haha, when I got back from orientation, I wrote that would God please grant me a strong Christian community because I cannot deal with it if everyone was like the people in my orientation group. God has more than answered that prayer. I have an interfellowship, interchurch, intercollege Christian community. I love that. And one thing that I saw that I wrote a lot was that God isn't first in my life, God I'm losing my passion for you, blahblahblah. Ok, well God still isn't first in my life sometimes, but many of my idols are gone, and I wouldn't say I have a problem with "losing my passion" anymore. I dunno how that happened, but he's always on my mind, and I seek him in a much more stable manner now. Maybe because I'm not overwhelmed with and distracted by school and everything I was involved in anymore. Life used to be such a big time crunch, such a big distraction... Maybe I have my priorities figured out better now, I dunno. Maybe I don't rely on emotions as much now? I don't know how it happened, but it did, and it's very cool to behold how I've grown. That is all for now.