10.21.2010

It's a stressful time...

... with a humanities paper and ochem midterm coming up on Monday, on top of everything else. And Monday, of all days. I am determined to keep Sunday my playday, which means I have to finish everything by Saturday night. If I lock myself up and write my paper, I'm going to fail my midterm. If I study for my midterm, my paper will not be as polished. Not to mention hum reading, physics lab report (I plan on not failing any more of those), and physics quiz. It's a stressful time.

So this morning, I was trying to make myself relax a bit by preparing myself to fail everything. My usual method of stress relief. No expectations, no stress. It wasn't working, because I knew I wasn't going to fail. I was just driving myself hard even though I knew I was going to do well anyway. It doesn't make sense, but I couldn't stop. Embarrassing, because I like to pride myself on not stressing out about school. This is dumb.

And so it was in this state that I was reminded that God holds my future career in his hands (this is not a general statement for everybody. I mean quite literally for ME), so it REALLY doesn't matter what my grades look like. It's REALLY not worth it to allow any other part of my life to suffer so I can get those grades, so I can get that job, so whatever blahblahblah. Because whether I screw myself up or succeed now, God promises to intervene later. So it really, quite literally, doesn't matter. Oh yes, that felt good. Look, I should be writing my amazing essay right now, but I'm writing this instead to share with ya'll, if anybody still checks. Lol sorry I suck at updating now because I'm too busy with life. Hope you're all doing amazing, call if you wanna talk. I may be too busy to update, but it is extremely unlikely that I'm too busy to talk. Okiedokie that's all for now, have an amazing weekend guys oh wait it's only Thursday why do I keep thinking it's Friday.


2 comments: