home at last but i realized that the disorder at home scatters and confuses my brain by feeding me too many stimuli simultaneously, and so i feel lazy and time-wasteful at home. and so nothing gets done because i cant clean cuz im overwhelmed by how much there is to clean. stuck. plus this moody weather makes me lazy too. everythings dark so i should be sleeping.

rawr i need structure. i need to throw away and donate some junk but my dad is such a packrat and wont let me get rid of anything useless.

i rather like living at school more now just cuz theres more order there. somehow, i crave structure, but i have a hard time generating it myself.


mental playlist: satisfy (tenth avenue north)